I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
