I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
