Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I haven't been this sober since birth.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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