Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
