Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Porn is love you can see.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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