did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
