I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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