no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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