I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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