we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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