Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize