She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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