Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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