"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
