Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
