i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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