hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
