when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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