Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
