Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
