Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
