Sponge bath it is.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
