literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
