so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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