I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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