Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
