I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
