you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
