Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we made out on top of his cat.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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