kristin has been a bad kristin
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
