Got a toothbrush?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
