i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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