I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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