i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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