Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
