I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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