I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
send nudes
from the living room?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
