dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
