I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
