There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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