He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i think i just lost a toe
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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