Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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