doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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