just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
