I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
