Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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