WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
