We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
