How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize