In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
