This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
